By Heather Kreke @HKreke
A few weeks ago when I was planning to write this post, I thought I’d write about how my experience at The Blue Ridge Conference was. I knew the event would be amazing, and it was —spiritually, craft wise, and making new friends while encouraging their writing.
Then life happened.
In the past week two very close friends have gone through unspeakable tragedies that no one should have to go through. One lost her daughter-in-law, who left behind a husband and a three month old baby. Another friend lost a neighbor, a 9 year old little girl, in a drive-by shooting only steps from his own door. Wednesday was also the four year anniversary of the death of a very close friend of mine.
My heart breaks for my friends and their families. I wish I could do something. However, they both live in different states and I can’t even give them a hug. All I can offer is prayers, and maybe a gift card for food.
As a writer, my gift of words has failed me. What can I say in a time like this?
Despite this, I have found writing brings me some comfort. We writers tend to live through our characters, as much as they live through us. Most of my characters have struggled with the same questions I am struggling with now. Why? Why would God let something like this happen to good people? I can pour my questions, doubts, fears, and struggles out onto the page. Once I get into the flow of writing the words just seem to come. Through my characters I can cry if I need to cry or I can scream. I can channel my feelings so that they don’t overwhelm me. Some of my best writing has come from moments when I am experiencing strong emotions. It’s easier for me to write them while I’m feeling them. If the writing isn’t my best, I can always edit it later.
I have also found that journaling helps me to work through my feelings as I can write whatever I need to with it having to be perfect. Since I doubt anyone will ever read it, I don’t have to worry about, well anything really.
God promises to work all things for the good of those who love Him, however in moments like these it can be all but impossible to see that good. Through other tragedies my friends and I have endured, I have rediscovered my faith in many new ways. I am better able to be there for others who have lost someone. I despise watching my friends go through loss and pain. I despise seeing them struggle with questions of WHY. At the same time I am hopeful, because I am confident that the Author of the universe has already written them a happy ending.
Heather is a novelist who is passionate about showing teens and young adults they can find hope in God’s plan for their lives – even through the darkest times. She is published on numerous blogs and in the Christian Writers Market Guide. She also teaches a writing class at her church and completed coursework through the former Christian Writers Guild.
Heather is a mother of 3 redheaded girls and has been married to a redheaded husband since 2004.
The Conversation
Wow Heather! Your post allows me to feel less guilty when I cry out to God about the unspeakable pain experienced here on earth. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt exploration of pain, suffering, and confusion while still trying to trust God. Praying for your loved ones.
Thank you for your kind words, Katherine!
Heather, I’m sending you hugs. I cried so much yesterday, thinking of all those who have an empty chair at their table. I have a few empty chairs at mine. May God comfort all.
This year we experienced “firsts” from the loss of a much-loved brother. Empty places this year made me aware I have so many memories of the GREAT TIMES with those gone. I had to focus on those memories – still shed some tears – but they certainly sprang from the good memories more than the loss, I think. I hope. *smile*
Joy,
So sorry for your loss. That you for you for sharing your loss and your hope.
Thank you, Cherrilynn. I’m sending hugs right back my friend!
Heather, I am so sorry for these losses. Praying for you and your friends during this devastating time of grief. Keep writing down those feelings, sweet friend.
Thank you, Sandy!
What a great article! That kind of pain makes us better writers, I believe. When we have a character who is struggling with something huge, having experienced pain or heavy issues gives our writing of that character more impetus.
Thank you so much, Joy!
I’m so sorry for the losses in your life. It’s so hard when those we love suffer unspeakable pain. I pray God will comfort you and all who are hurting. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Thank you, Deena!