We’ve just come home from the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and it was a truly God-filled time for me! From what I’ve heard, most of you experienced the same thing. I also heard—over and over again—how impressed the editors and agents were with the conferees’ knowledge of how things work at a conference. I’m so proud of you all!
Let’s not break that impression now!
To help navigate the after-conference correspondence and interactions, I’m going to share some tips—a lot of which I learned the hard way. I’m also including some important info that applies to interactions during the conference. I know it’s not possible to go back in time, but we can all learn as we go forward.
Conference Etiquette During and After
During the Conference:
Do:
Do thank those who meet with you and others who are helpful during your time at the conference. Saying thank you seems obvious, but in the excitement and the chaos, that is often the first thing to fall by the wayside.
Do send/hand out physical thank you notes. Handwritten thank you notes are precious. And truthfully, I keep every note I’ve received from all my events. Yes, there is a BIG box in the top of a closet with all the notes. Those notes have gotten me through some tough times of doubt and discouragement.
Don’t:
Don’t pitch at awkward times. I’m sure most of you have heard editors and agents joke about being confronted during personal times (like in the rest room). In truth, this is no joke. It happens to every agent and editor eventually. Now, there is a caveat. If the agent or editor initiates the conversation, you are free to answer questions and give them the information they request.
Don’t make faculty late. Faculty members love to interact with conferees, but they also have time commitments they need to respect. Do not insist on interacting if the person says they must be somewhere else. Praying for them is NOT an exception to that rule. By all means tell them you’re praying for them, DO pray for them after they rush off, but do not insist they remain with you as you pray.
Don’t interrupt professional conversations/meetings to pray over someone. We all love to be prayed for—we covet those prayers—especially the faculty. However, do not interrupt a conversation/meeting to pray over someone. It’s fine to ask when you can pray for them, but don’t just grab them and begin praying.
Don’t hug or even touch someone without permission. We all have different boundaries for personal space. We also have boundaries regarding our health. Touching someone without asking first is a significant breach of etiquette.
Don’t be a Salesperson. We all get excited about being a finalist in a contest, launching a book, and celebrating other publishing milestones. However, the rules of good etiquette still apply. Don’t hand someone something they don’t ask for or agree to (even a business card or post card or price sheet—yes, sometimes even publishing professionals forget this rule). It isn’t okay to interrupt a class to hand out promotional material and it isn’t okay to leave promotional material on chairs in classrooms, large groups, or common gathering areas. As a matter of fact, this behavior virtually insures your product won’t be viewed favorable.
Don’t add ANYONE to an email list without express permission. This goes beyond etiquette and into the realm of legality. Because of the strict spam laws in effect, adding someone to an email list without their knowledge is truly violating the law. Except on rare occasions (which I can count on one hand) I never add anyone to my email list manually. If they express interest, I send them a link and let them sign themselves up. I do this for two reasons:
This gives the person subscribing the option of signing up without feeling put on the spot.
By subscribing themselves, they are far more likely to actually read my newsletter as opposed to deleting it or worse—marking it as spam.
Do follow through when asked to submit. Like I mentioned at this year’s conference (and at EVERY year’s event) only about twenty-five to thirty percent of those asked to submit will do so. Believe me, none of us ask a writer to send something “just because we’re being nice.” The amount of email professionals get is overwhelming without adding to the avalanche. If we asked, we are serious.
Do follow up with others you meet. If you exchange business cards, look for them on social media—follow or friend them and interact. This includes faculty. Don’t send private messages to faculty, but by all means, follow them on social media and comment on their posts.
Ask first. Don’t assume, ask. Ask what someone is comfortable with before stumbling into an inadvertent faux pas.
Don’t:
Don’t share faculty contact information with others. If a professional in the publishing industry has trusted you with a private email or a cell number. You have been given a gift. You have not been given the right to share that gift with others. Truthfully, anytime someone gives me private information (something NOT on their business card)—whether they are faculty or attendee—I never share without asking first.
Don’t contact faculty by text or phone call unless specifically asked to do so. Many of us have our phones set up to automatically filter unknown contacts. But some don’t. And it is generally considered unprofessional to text a faculty member unless invited to do so.
Don’t use Facebook Messenger for professional correspondence. Most of the professionals I asked have said they despise getting professional messages over FB Messenger. These are the main reasons:
It’s unprofessional. We have email for a reason. Email (as opposed to snail mail) is the professional way to handle correspondence in today’s publishing environment.
Facebook Messenger messages cannot be filed and referred to again easily. With email, we can file the information and retrieve it later for reference.
The ways we present ourselves during and after a conference go a long way toward establishing us as professionals. Most of these faux pas are done with the best of intentions and sometimes enthusiasm. I love that our community is a praying, encouraging, supportive community. Let’s be aware and not destroy the comaraderie this group has built.
And now is a great time to ask questions! No judgment. None of us was born knowing how to navigate the publishing culture. This is a safe place to ask questions and get some additional understanding about the industry—and about the people we love and interact with as writers.
Edie uses the truths God has taught her as an author, photographer, and blogger to encourage others. She’s learned to embrace the ultimate contradiction of being an organized creative. As a sought-after speaker, she’s empowered and challenged audiences across the country and around the world. Her numerous books reflect her passion to help others call on God’s strength during challenging times, often using creativity to empower this connection. Edie is also the executive director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and board member of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. She and husband Kirk have been married 44+ years with three grown sons and four grandchildren. They live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and can often be found with their big black dog hiking the mountains. Connect with her at www.EdieMelson.com and through social media.
