This is your Tribe

friends blueridgeconference.com

by Bethany Jett, @BetJett

Whenever someone asks me for advice on getting published, my first response is almost always, “Go to a writers conference.” This is for several reasons: to learn the craft, to pitch your work, to network with industry professionals, to get some alone time, to gain clarity on your purpose for writing. Four years ago, the person giving me that advice added, “You’ll make new friends.”

Honestly, making friends is the LAST thing I wanted.

HELLO! Introvert!

Networking? Yes.

Friends? No, thanks.

However, I am extremely grateful that God changed my mind on this. At my first writing conference, I sat next to a stranger and during our amiable conversation, an uncommon five-syllable word spilled out of my mouth and I froze.

I waited for the inevitable reaction: an eye roll at my “big vocabulary,” a confused look at the atypical wordplay, the silence that I would have to fill putting my word into context without embarrassing anyone.

I’d trained myself to stop using mega-words in every day conversation. The majority of my time was spent with middle school and high school students either at youth group events, church, hosting them at our house, or when I coached cheerleading practice. “Like” has rooted itself permanently into my vernacular.

Imagine my surprise when my new companion smiled with instant recognition and responded with an equally long syllabic word, appropriately used.

#Delighted.

I’d found my people.

Welcome to your world.

Welcome to your tribe.

I thank God for the people He’s brought into my life through writing, whether at conferences or through Facebook groups. Writers have a different way of looking at the world and it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone in the “crazy” way we think. In fact, a couple of months ago, Alycia Morales gave us a fantastic list of 10 Reasons You Need Writing Friends.

The group of people who read this blog are one such community. When you leave comments here and on each other’s sites and social media profiles, you foster this tribe’s sense of self.

If you’re like me and think “I don’t care about making friends at writers conferences [or any writers _____],” I totally get it. However, I would have missed out on the most precious of friendships and business opportunities if I’d been too afraid to come out of my shell, share what I write, and more importantly, focus on someone else.

Most people aren’t listened to throughout the day. We constantly “lurk” (haha!) as we observe the world through literary eyes. Yet we all have this need to be heard.

This is a safe place.

We are your people.

It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[reminder]Dare to be brave? In two sentences, tell us something about yourself besides ‘what you write.’ [/reminder]

Bethany Jett, authorBethany Jett is an award-winning author of The Cinderella Rule, speaker, ghostwriter, and founder of JETTsetter Ink, a consulting and editing company. She has written for numerous publications, created the My Moments Planner, Serious Writer Companion, and is the founder of Serious Writer Academy and the Build Your Brand Program.

Bethany is a military wife and all-boys-mama who is addicted to suspense novels and all things girly. She writes on living a brilliant life at BethanyJett.com. Connect with her on FacebookPinterest,  Instagram (new profile), and Twitter.

The Conversation

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18 Comments

    The Conversation

  1. Robin says:

    I am a grandma of three, mother of two daughters, wife and daughter of “The King”. I live in a place where my mind swims with words while I walk on land, my soul finds rest knowing I am not alone.

  2. My name is Lindsey Brackett and I’m a “yes” addict. This year I’m homeschooling for the first time, and Bethany is one of the first people I met at BRMCWC.

  3. Bethany, I never solved the Rubics cube. I work for a non-profit, Dream Fetchers, service dogs that bring love, joy & acceptance to children in hospitals and other organizations.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I. I’m a big fan of football. I’ll even watch it alone.
    2. I’ll meet grandchild number 6 in February. ☺

    • Bethany Jett says:

      Six grandkids!!!! That deserves a woot-woot! …and we take college football very seriously in the Jett household. 🙂

  5. Bethany, I met one of my best friends at my first writer’s conference. We live across the country from each other, but have roomed at other conferences together. She and her husband have visited us twice. She has enriched me so much!

    • Bethany Jett says:

      I LOVE that!!!! and I totally get it! My best friends were people I met at conferences, too. 🙂 Love that you guys visit each other!

  6. I’m a recovering introvert, mother of 4 and grandmother to 12.
    I love coffee and chocolate.

  7. Sherry says:

    Mom of two, grandmother of four, educator, retired banker, novice writer, cancer survivor, recipient of heart transplant, grateful for health, grateful for His mercy and blessings!

  8. Roz says:

    My issue wouldn’t be not “wanting” to make friends. I’m just that shy of a person. People who think they know me laugh when I say that, but those who really know always say “If you ever want Roz to hush, drop her in a group of people she doesn’t know and you won’t hear a prep out of her.” And that is so true. My parents weren’t even very supportive when I said I wanted to be a teacher. Mom replied, “You do know that means you have to talk in front if people.” But now thirty years later, that is where I feel most comfortable.

    I can fulfill a role…teacher, speaker, youth group leader, mentor, etc… and talk up a storm and even interact with others, but for you, a stranger, to get to know me as just Roz has always been terrifying.

    But by faith I went alone to a writing seminar this summer and I to was so blessed. From the first lady that day next to me to the presenters and the relationships that have extended beyond the seminar, God gave me more than I could have ever imagined I would have gained. He should me I didn’t just step out in faith but also in obedience as it was very clear that was where I was supposed to be that Saturday.

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

  9. Jeannie Waters says:

    I was amazed by the friendship, encouragement, and opportunities that grew from attending the Blue Ridge Christian Writers Conference, my first Christian writers’ conference!

  10. I am an animal lover cat’s in particular. I really like the time period of the Civil war.